Red the Lowest - Tactical Danmaku Action
by TheTrueOverlordBear
Summary: An amnesia-affected teenage boy called Akai has been given a mission by Yukari Yakumo, the Youkai of the Boundaries: Defeat the Scarlet Devil Mansion's master and clear the scarlet mist that is clouding the skies of Gensokyo. This is a Touhou fanfic which sounds like The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil mixed with Metal Gear Solid, but there won't be any MGS characters showing up here.
1. Sounds Like Metal Gear Solid

It was already late at night, and the full moon hung above.

I was passing through the forest, silently going through and blending with the darkness.

In my hands was a gun that looked like a pistol-like ray gun. It had a simple exterior design which contrasted its complex mechanics. It was colored red, a reflection of my name, Akai. What made it stood out a lot was the brightly glowing red part which was like a gauge of sorts. It represented the charge the gun contained, and obviously, it's fully charged right now.

Thing is, no one will ever notice me, even with this brightly glowing weapon.

Even the gatekeeper I'm approaching isn't even exhibiting any reaction. Well, she is asleep right now, so that would be logical...But still, as long as I'm not drawing any attention to myself, most creatures will never notice me. I'll have to thank the optic camouflage for that.

*beepbeep**beepbeep*

It's her...Gotta put my finger to my ear, then.

*fzzzt*

[Akai-kun, be careful. That gatekeeper can be a heavy sleeper, but she can send you flying if she's wide awake.]

[Don't worry, Yukari-sama. I'll knock her out before she wakes up.]

[Still, be careful.]

[You got it. I'll show you that I can really be good at stealth, Yukari-sama.]

[Do your best, then, Akai-kun.]

*fzzzt*

And so, the transmission ends. We talk like we were having a conversation over a Codec in a Metal Gear game. Even this whole thing I'm doing _is_ like a mission in a Metal Gear game. At least Yukari-sama and I had something to agree on.

About her, she's the one I'm really grateful to. She helped me get these hi-tech equipment, and she gave me this mission which serves as our boredom-killer. Well, I can also say that I'm thankful for her spiriting me away to this world called Gensokyo. I can feel the excitement, and it's making me grin.

"Alright, time to knock that gatekeeper out," I whispered to myself.

Beyond the bushes in front of me was a clearing where a towering gate stood. Beyond that gate was a giant mansion, and my goal was to defeat the mansion's master.

Right now, what stood in my way towards that goal was this gatekeeper in some sort of green Chinese uniform. And she's asleep. Is this going to be like the forest and the lake all over again? I sure hope not. That would be really boring.

"Alright...I better not be in front of her..."

I snuck forward through the trees and bushes around the clearing. This gun in my hand can fire a charge that can travel a long way, but the recoil just makes it tough to hit targets properly. It's better if I get close to the target.

"Well, she is asleep, so I guess it's okay to step into the clearing..."

I then went out of the shadows, moving in slowly and quietly. As I moved closer to the gatekeeper, I saw no response from her. I raised my gun and pointed it at her body. One shot from the gun can send a target flying for miles...I think.

"Uhhh...She's cute...-Wait, I shouldn't be distracted!"

I was starting to get distracted by her cute sleeping face and...her nice chest...but I shook all those thoughts off and put my finger on the trigger.

"Sorry, Miss, but you'll need to go down for now. You're in the way, you see."

I took a deep breath to reduce my nervousness, and then I counted, since I wasn't that experienced with using guns. Holding a gun looks easy in all those flashy action stories, but going through the first-hand experience of using a gun feels really difficult.

"3...2...1...Fire."

When I pulled the trigger, a small magic circle appeared in front of the barrel of the gun, and the brightly glowing red part, which I called the Charge Gauge, glowed even brighter. The magic circle started spinning as magical energy gathered a bit outside the barrel. The gun began to emit a soft whirring sound as the gun started vibrating in my hands. I had to hold on to it tight, since the recoil could knock me down. The forces in the gun increased more and more, creating a big ball of magical energy that was double the size of the magic circle, and then...

*PEW*

The magic circle vanished, and the ball of magical energy flew towards the target, and it exploded with great force. I was knocked back as the ball of magical energy was launched, and I landed on my rear.

*BOOM*

An explosion of bright lights and loud sound assailed my senses as it reached impact. It disturbed the wind, which caused me to cover my face with my arms. The kappa who invented this gun...She must be nuts to invent such an easy-to-use but powerful weapon. Still, that kappa should really make this optic camouflage stronger...It easily gets turned off by strong forces like that blast I just unleashed.

"Did you think you could take me down that easily?"

"What?"

Well, looks like I can have a serious fight now.

My past opponents were powerful, but they were stupid. Their stupidity...was unforgettable...

How did this mission of mine began? Well, looks like it's time to recall those memories...those new memories in my amnesia-affected mind.


	2. Enter Yukari Yakumo, Mission Control

It all started near some big lake in a magical forest.

"Ugh..."

I woke up with a really bad headache, like I was recently hit by a giant mallet or something.

"Oh...You're awake, Akai-kun."

"What...?"

As my blurry vision became clearer, I saw the figure of a woman in a really fancy purple dress. She wore a really fancy hat, she had a really fancy umbrella...

And she had...a nice chest.

"Akai-kun? What are you staring at?"

"Oh, it's nothing important!"

I then looked up and focused on her face, which had this sly smile that seemed to have read my thoughts.

"Well, you still have some of your quirks left, hm?"

"What did you say?"

"Oh, it's nothing important."

"Tch...Come on, tell me!"

"Fufufu..."

She's smiling at me triumphantly. Dang it. She really used my own line on me, and she just heard it seconds ago!

"Akai-kun, do you remember anything from before you woke up?"

Akai-kun? That must be me, right? Well, I better respond.

"Umm...Not really...I just remember this really bad headache."

"Hmm...Well, you lost your memories after I threw you into this world. You hit the ground really hard when you landed here, you see."

"WHAT!? What happened to me? Am I dead?"

Wait, why did I ask whether I'm dead? It must be my memory loss...

"No, you're not dead, Akai-kun. I am Yukari Yakumo, the Youkai of the Boundaries. You're in Gensokyo, a world far different from the world where you came from. I brought you here since I chose you to do a mission for me. You suffered a blow to the head when I dropped you off through a gap to this place. I set it up too high, you see. I apologize for your memory loss."

"Well, that's okay. I feel pretty much excited, now that you mentioned this mission stuff. Wait...I think I do remember some blurry memory where you asked me if I wanted to do a mission for me."

"Do you remember anything else?"

"Well...I think I remember accepting your offer because I wanted to kill my boredom...That's as far as I can go right now."

"Then that's enough. You don't need to remember your other memories for now. We'll focus on the mission first, and then I'll help you restore your memories after you finish the mission."

"Alright. Now, what's the mission?"

"It's summer morning right now, Akai-kun. Do you notice anything strange?"

"Strange...?"

If it's summer, then sunlight should be hitting the ground through the gaps of the forest right now. I could notice that the air around me had a scarlet tint. The air also felt cold, despite the fact that it's summer right now.

I then looked up and looked through the branches of the forest's trees.

"Is this...scarlet mist?"

"Yes. The master of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Remilia Scarlet, released this scarlet mist over Gensokyo to block out the sun."

"Why would she do that, anyway?"

"She's a vampire."

"Oh."

Well, that makes sense. I can guess that my mission would be...

"So, I'm supposed to defeat her, right?"

"Exactly."

"Why didn't you deal with her in the first place, then? If you were able to bring me here from whatever world I came from, then you should be able to do it, right? You're the Youkai of the Boundaries, and you probably have a great amount of power."

"..."

Why is she looking at me with an annoyed face?

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No."

She then turned around. Her back was now facing towards me.

After some moments of silence, she spoke.

"I'd rather have you learn to fight the hard way, rather than helping you out while you scream and run away."

She turned to face me again, this time with a serious face.

"This is your mission, Akai-kun. Consider me your guide. Call me Yukari-sama."

"Alright...but if you're my guide, shouldn't I call you Yakumo-sensei?"

"I prefer being called Yukari-sama. Now bear with it. Anything else you want to say before I continue talking, Akai-kun?"

She doesn't looked pleased right now. Her tone and her expression...they're starting to become scary...

"None, Yukari-sama."

"Good."

She's back to a bright smile again! I'm starting to have doubts about this lady...

"Now, since you don't have the ability to shoot danmaku like the youkai here, I shall give you this."

Yukari-sama handed me a red pistol-like ray gun. The name "Kawashiro Electronics" was branded on one side of the gun.

"This is the Danmaku Handcannon, another one of that kappa's inventions. I had it invented just for you, Akai-kun."

I marveled at the simple but cool gun that was in my hands, and then I did some pointing poses with it. I thought of twirling it, but I didn't think that was a good idea. I might accidentally pull the trigger if I did that.

"Thanks, Yukari-sama!" I told her after I put it in the holster that was attached on the inside of my longcoat. Speaking of which, I do have a weird outfit...red shirt, brown longcoat, white pants, black boots...

"I am so cool," I told myself.

"That's not all," Yukari-sama said. "Your outfit is equipped with optic camouflage, too. It can be powered up using the device strapped on one side of your pants."

Upon hearing that, I checked my pants, and I saw this small box with a switch on it. I pressed the switch, and then I was suddenly covered by an aura that reduced the visibility of my self to a nigh-invisible outline.

"Sweet!" I exclaimed.

"You'll need to have that on while you go on with your mission, Akai-kun. Most creatures will not be able to notice you with the optic camouflage on, as the visibility your inner magical energy will also be hidden. Still, you have to be careful, as there are those in the Scarlet Devil Mansion who can detect the faint inner magical energy that still remains visible while you are hidden using the optic camouflage. And of course, you must stay hidden as much as possible. Also, be careful when using the Danmaku Handcannon, because the massive amount of magical energy that it releases. It has to charge after every shot, and that takes a certain amount of time to do so. Still, it is alright to wait for the gun to charge while not advancing, as long as you are not within the Scarlet Devil Mansion itself. Now, I shall continue to guide you through telepathic communication while you're doing the mission. I have linked our minds together, and you can send or receive calls by putting a finger to an ear, like so."

Yukari-sama then put a finger into her ear, and then a sound rang inside my mind.

*beepbeep**beepbeep*

I put a finger to my ear in response.

[Can you hear me?] Yukari-sama said without moving her mouth.

[Loud and clear.] I replied mentally.

Yukari-sama then removed her finger from her ear. I removed mine from my ear as well.

"Good. Now, give your Danmaku Handcannon a try."

"Alright. Now, where should I shoot?"

"Hmm..."

Yukari-sama then started looking for a target as I took out my Danmaku Handcannon. After a few seconds, Yukari-sama had already found targets for me.

"Try your Danmaku Handcannon on those four," she told me, pointing to a group of four creatures, consisting of an ice fairy, a youkai in black with arms spread out, a boyish-looking firefly, and a night sparrow. "Don't worry, they won't be able to notice you with your optic camouflage on right now."

"Alright," I said, and I aimed my gun at the four creatures who were flying slowly. Immediately, I pulled the trigger, keeping the gun trained on the four targets.

Suddenly, a small magic circle appeared in front of the barrel of the gun, and the gauge of the gun glowed even brighter than when I first saw it. The magic circle then started to spin, with a ball of magical energy building up in front of the magic circle. I felt more and more force gather as the magic circle spun faster and faster, and the ball of magical energy became bigger and bigger. When the magic circle stopped spinning...

*PEW*

...The ball of magical energy flew quickly in a straight line. As the four targets were within the line of fire, they were inevitably hit by the released magical energy. I noticed my self becoming more visible as I saw the impact of the ball of magical energy.

*BOOM*

Lights and sound exploded, and the wind was disturbed, causing me to cover my face with my arms.

After all that, I stood amazed at the damage that it caused. Trees, grass, and soil were razed by that ball of magical energy. The four targets that I just hit seemed to have been reduced to nothing by the shot that I fired.

"Wow..." was what I could only say, as I was at a loss for words at the power of the Danmaku Handcannon.

"Alright, then," Yukari-sama told me as she went to stand beside me, "The optic camouflage also turns itself off and stays out of commission for a while when it receives enough force, such as the release of that blast, so you have to be careful when you use the Danmaku Handcannon."

"Alright..." I nodded, still speechless over what I caused.

"By the way, creatures like them are small fry. The fairies and youkai here and at the Scarlet Devil Mansion are dumb enough to not notice you while you are in optic camouflage. So the ones you have to be careful are what we call the 'Bosses' of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

"Yes, Yukari-sama," I replied as I regained my composure.

"Now, I shall open a gap for you to enter the forest near the gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. You can wait for your Danmaku Handcannon and your optic camouflage to recover while you wait there. Besides, the gatekeeper is a heavy sleeper."

Yukari-sama then opened a gap, which looked pretty creepy because of the eyes there.

"Uhh...Do I have to go inside there?" I asked nervously.

"Oh, don't worry, the eyes won't hurt you. When you enter, you'll be there before you know it," she said with an encouraging smile.

"Okay..." I said, and I went into the gap.

I felt like the eyes were watching me for a while there, but before I could check the eyes thoroughly, I was already at the forest near the gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"Well, looks like I'll have to wait for a while."

After all that waiting, I begun my advance to the Scarlet Devil Mansion gate, leading to my battle with the gatekeeper, Chi-I mean, Hong Meiling.


	3. Remembering Chi--I Mean, Hong Meiling

"Who are you?" the Chinese girl in green asked me. It seems that she knew that I was around.

"Why should I tell you that?" I told her with a smirk.

"You sneaked up to me, and then you tried blowing me up. That's enough for me to ask you who you are."

"Well, why don't you tell me who you are first?"

I don't think this would be a good distraction, but I have to think of what to do now. Keep calm, Akai. Keep calm.

"Not until you tell me who you are."

As expected, she won't tell me who she is. Come on, keep on trying...

"Well then, let me guess your name..."

She looks Chinese, so...

"...China?"

"..."

I think I saw a vein pop up on a side of her forehead. Oh boy, looks like I hit a nerve there.

"Alright, I won't ask you to identify yourself anymore. I'll just do my job as a gatekeeper, which is to kill you."

Wait, I think she switched her main duty from "keep intruders away" to "kill me." Gotta run!

And so I quickly jumped back, turned around, ran, and dived over a nearby clump of bushes. I felt some energy flying above my back as I landed. I then discovered that she just shot magical bullets at me, because I saw a tree get hit by them.

"Oh boy..."

When I turned back to focus at the gatekeeper, I saw her with an angry smile. Her fists were clenched, too.

"My name is not China...it's Hong Meiling," she said, putting a fist and a palm together.

Then, she pushed her palm forward towards me, releasing rainbow-colored bullets. I quickly rolled to dodge it, and then I ran and dived somewhere else to hide again.

"Come on, now, I just need to teach you what my real name is. Come out already."

Boy, that sudden kind tone of hers definitely means that her anger is rising. Gotta think of a way to get through...Aha! It was just that simple. I better hide and recharge my Danmaku Handcannon and optic camouflage first.

Suddenly, more bullets came towards me, and I dodged again. I ran and dived to hide again, recharging my equipment as she slowly walked towards me, shooting rainbow-colored bullets every time she went near me. The process repeated for a while, until Meiling's declared her decrease in patience.

"If you're not going to show yourself, I'll chase you quickly and kill you mercilessly!"

At that point, I was fortunate enough to have my equipment fully charged. As I hid behind a tree, I activated my optic camouflage. Then, I ran, picking up a rock and throwing it at Meiling.

"Hey, China! I'm over here!" I shouted.

The result was as expected.

"My name is not China! It's Hong Meiling!"

I then drew out my gun that I put back in its holster while I hid from Meiling. I picked up another rock and threw it at Meiling again.

"You can't catch me, China!"

"It's not China, you idiot! It's Hong Meiling!"

Just from how she reacted to my guess at her name earlier, it seemed that people don't remember her name that easily. I can remember her name, though. It's Hong Meiling. Repeat a name in the mind again and again, and it'll be remembered. I wonder why people have a hard time remembering Meiling's name, if that's the case.

Now, as I was running from away from Meiling, her speed and her bullets increased. From the looks of it, it seems that I only need one more push to make her anger explode. Uncontrolled anger can lead to people doing stupid things, so I thought of causing that so that I would be able to shoot her properly. I just hope what she'll do next when she explodes will give me a good shot.

"You can't see me, China! Nyeh nyeh nyeh-nyeh nyeh!"

"Grrr...IT'S NOT CHINA! IT'S. HONG. MEILIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGG!"

Yup, she exploded. Right now, the gate is behind her again, and I am at a distance in front of her. Meiling then took out a card and shouted:

"TAKE THIS! COLORFUL SIGN: EXTREME COLOR TYPHOON!"

At that moment, the card glowed and disappeared. Then, Meiling slowly rose above the ground as rainbow-colored energy started to swirl around her like a typhoon. Bullets then started to flying outward around her, causing me to hide behind a tree again.

"Damn it, this is gonna be tough..."

Looks like I'll have to take this risk and hope for the best, then.

I jumped out and aimed my fully charged Danmaku Handcannon at Meiling. Once I've gotten my sight locked on her, I quickly pulled the trigger. As the gun released a red magic circle and started whirring, I kept my eyes on my target, hoping that I wouldn't be hit by the storm of bullets that was raining all around the place. My eyes then widened and my mouth formed a grin as the magic circle stopped spinning at the end of the charging of the shot. The next moment...

*PEW*

The big ball of red magical energy then flew towards Meiling, who was within her typhoon of bullets. Instead of a simple explosion, what happened next made me dive back to save myself.

The shot from my Danmaku Handcannon merged with Meiling's typhoon, causing it to go all red and scatter big balls of red magical energy outward in various directions. The chaotic mix energy didn't spare Meiling, though, as she was blown up by the following explosion that ended the typhoon.

After the chaos stopped, I went out to look at the aftermath.

"What in the world...?"

I was at a loss for words again when I saw the aftermath. Trees were burnt down, large patches of grass were burnt here and there, the gate and the walls around it was totally wrecked, and the facade of the mansion now seemed like a giant doorway with an irregular design.

"Wow..."

*beepbeep**beepbeep*

I was then brought back to reality by Yukari-sama's call. I put a finger to my ear again.

[Akai-kun, are you alright there? I detected massive magical energy there a while ago.]

[Yeah. I defeated the gatekeeper, although not without massive damage.]

[You have to get inside the mansion and hide quickly already! That sort of destruction will draw the attention of the chief maid, Sakuya Izayoi!]

[What's so dangerous about her, then, Yukari-sama?]

[She can stop time, and she's a wizard with knives. Oh, and she's a vampire, I guess.]

[WHAT? The chief maid can stop time?]

[Huh, I didn't think you caught that vampire joke, Akai-kun.]

[What, are you saying she isn't a vampire? Come on, this is no time to joke around, Yukari-sama!]

[Well, forget the joke I said about Sakuya being a vampire. She can really stop time. She can manipulate space, too.]

[Looks like I should have to hide from her. My optic camouflage and Danmaku Handcannon are recovering right now.]

[Don't worry about that, Akai-kun. Just go inside, and kneel down somewhere like a turtle hiding in its shell.]

[Huh?]

[Just do it! I'll help you hide!]

[O-Okay!]

Reluctantly, I jumped into a broken window of the mansion, holding back my urge to scream "LEON SCOTT KENNEDY!" while I jumped in. It felt good, as I felt somewhat stronger than usual. Maybe it's because I was able to defeat a powerful enemy. I feel like a badass now!

After jumping through the broken window, I ran and quickly knelt down like a turtle beside a broken door that had a staircase that led to a basement. I put a finger to my ear again to call Yukari-sama.

[Yukari-sama, I'm all set. Help me out already!]

[Alright. I'll drop it off in a few moments.]

[Drop what off?]

After I asked that question, Yukari-sama abruptly ended the call, and then I felt something open up above me.

"Oh..."

I saw one of her dreaded gaps again. I did notice that they had ribbons on opposite ends, but the next thing that happened drew more of my attention.

Something landed on me.

"Whoa!"

I ducked down to the turtle-hiding-in-shell position again, and then I realized what happened after a few looks around me.

"Huh, looks like Yukari-sama knows the Metal Gear series..."

Yukari-sama had just dropped a cardboard box on me. And that vampire joke was from Hiimdaisy's parody comic, "Let's Destroy Metal Gear Again." Now I understand.


	4. Fission Mailed?

"What happened now?"

A few moments after I realized that Yukari-sama had dropped a cardboard box on me, I heard a very annoyed voice. I then peeped through the hole in the cardboard box that was conveniently in front of me.

"What in the...MEILING! Where are you?"

After a few moments, I suddenly saw her at a distance in front me, floating a bit, and I could only see a blue skirt, black stockings, and red shoes with my present field of vision. I immediately held my breath to reduce my presence, while hoping that she wouldn't notice me.

"This just increased my work...I'll have to go back here la-Wait, the basement door's broken! If I don't find something to block the way to the basement, she'll try and go out again!"

After that exclamation, she vanished, and I let my breath go for a while.

"Ugh...We're out of materials! I'll have to get some wooden planks outside..."

Damn it, so she _is_ Sakuya Izayoi!

Still, before I even tried to hold my breath again, she vanished. I waited for three seconds.

"Looks like the coast is clear..." I whispered to myself. Still, I didn't consider it good to stay here any longer considering Sakuya Izayoi's time manipulation, so I decided to move down to the basement (with my cardboard box still equipped), which, fortunately, had no lights on.

"Hmm...I should hide in the dark first and wait..." I whispered to myself as I carefully crept down the basement stairs. When I seem to have gotten far enough away from the lights outside, I stopped moving and hid my whole self in the cardboard box again.

Hmm...she should be here...any moment now...

As I was nervously waiting for the chief maid's next move, the next move had already been done.

"Now it's all dark, damn it," I whispered to myself with annoyance.

Since the basement doorway had just been blocked, I decided to take off my cardboard box and stand up.

"Hmm...from the chief maid's statements a while ago, it seems that there's someone dangerous here."

After I declared that thought of mine, I drew out my Danmaku Handcannon. It wasn't fully charged yet.

"Damn it. What do I do now?"

I then remembered that I still had my telepathic connection with Yukari-sama.

"Oh yeah, Yukari-sama..."

I put a finger to my ear again.

[Yes, Akai-kun?]

[Yukari-sama, I'm trapped in the basement of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.]

[Oh dear...then it looks like you'll have to make a way out of there.]

[How? The door's blocked, and if I try to go out, I may get caught.]

[In that basement resides Remilia's younger sister, Flandre. She doesn't go out very much, since she has a very dangerous ability, which is the power to destroy absolutely anything and everything.]

[Damn it, that is just bad. What am I supposed to do, then?]

[Play with her.]

[What? Are you serious?]

[I mean, make her destroy your Danmaku Handcannon. That gun can generate massive amounts of magical energy, and such power can be dangerous when not handled carefully. You'll have to trick her into destroying your gun.]

[You think she'd fall for foolish tricks that easily?]

[She doesn't know much about stuff outside her home, and she's naive, too. She'll probably mistake you for someone who wants to play with her, so don't worry about that. What you should worry about is having your gun in your hand while playing with her. She may aim to blow you up, or aim to blow your gun up. That can only happen if you're stupid, though.]

[...Damn it, Yukari-sama. In the end, "play" for her is attacking anyone who she considers "playmates?"]

[Well, you'll just have to think and act fast. Believe in yourself, Akai-kun. Once the gun is about to explode, go hide somewhere safe, and then I'll drop something off there after the explosion ends.]

[Okay, so what is that "something" you're going to drop off now? Another cardboard box?]

[No. I'll be dropping off a _really_ big surprise. Now then, go on and blow your gun up.]

[Alright...]

And so, our conversation ended, with Yukari-sama leaving me to march down the stairs, "play" with Flandre Scarlet, and run away like a freaking nut. I still hope that her surprise is something really helpful.

I had to keep a hand to the wall as I walked down the darkness, until I found some torches lighting the way near the end of the stairs. I also found some large chunks of debris, which may have been from the explosive typhoon of bullets that blew Meiling away.

After going over the large chunks of debris, I found the basement to be illuminated by many torches.

"I guess since there's someone residing here, there should be lights around the place. Still, it's a bit hard to see with shadows here and there."

Also, the basement was unexpectedly empty. I was expecting this place to be a storage room, but I guess this shouldn't be a storage room, considering Flandre Scarlet's ability.

"Oh, a human?"

"Huh?"

I suddenly heard a voice from up ahead. The voice echoed through the tall and wide basement room.

"Are you Flandre Scarlet?" I asked with a loud voice.

"Yes. Are you here to play with me?"

"Umm...Yeah."

"Really? Can I see your face first?"

"Okay...sure..."

Nervousness took over me. I gripped the gun in my right hand even harder, hoping that she wouldn't blow me up immediately. I then saw a pair of glowing red eyes, and glowing crystals that were hanging and jingling behind her.

"Hi, I'm Flandre Scarlet! You seem to be new here. Who are you?"

I was somewhat surprised by the girl in front of me. I was expecting someone more mature and dangerous, but...Flandre Scarlet is a little girl.

No, she's definitely a vampire, considering her blood relationship with Remilia Scarlet. And I don't disagree with what Yukari-sama told me, either. I shouldn't underestimate someone who has the ability to destroy absolutely anything and everything.

"I'm...Akai. I'm just a human, just as you guessed," I said, keeping my eyes on her.

"Okay...so, do you want to have a danmaku battle against me?" she asked with a childishly excited expression.

"Uhh...I was thinking of playing...catch..." I said as my eyes awkwardly looked away from her.

"Catch? I'm okay with that. No one's been coming to play with me for a while now, so I'll play with anyone who wants to play with me, as long as it's not boring."

"Okay...so...we'll play catch using this gun here."

I showed her my Danmaku Handcannon. Flandre looked at it silently with curiosity.

"So, I'll be throwing this gun, and you'll have to catch it. Do you understand?"

Flandre still stared at the gun. Then, her face turned into an irritated expression.

"Are you going to shoot me with that thing?"

"No, no! I won't shoot you with it."

"Can I destroy it? It looks annoying."

"Why is it annoying, then?"

"It feels like it could kill me. Can I destroy it already?"

"Uhh...I'll throw it first. Is it okay?"

Flandre nodded silently. Having received her response, I prepared to throw my Danmaku Handcannon. I smirked as I did that, too.

"And...AWAY!" I shouted as I threw my gun hard into the air. Flandre then turned around, following it with her eyes, and then launching to the air in the blink of an eye.

Good. Just as planned!

Smirking, I turned around and quickly went over the debris to hide on the stairs. I then faced towards the basement room after I went up the stairs, and then I plugged my ears with my fingers.

[Hello, Akai-kun?]

[Oh yeah, I forgot that I could call you if I plugged an ear with my finger. I'm just protecting my ears from the oncoming sound of an explosion.]

[Oh. Well, I'll be dropping off my surprise once the explosion stops. You'll definitely find it useful, Akai-kun!]

[Okay, okay. Just...please be quiet for a while, Yukari-sama.]

[Okay, okay.]

After Yukari-sama went silent...

*BOOM*

An explosion sounded, and I saw the spreading light reach my field of vision, meaning that the explosion was massive. Fortunately, it didn't reach the stairs.

After a while, Yukari-sama spoke again.

[Alright, Akai-kun, I'll be dropping it off now!]

[Right!]

I took my fingers out of my ears, and I went down the stairs and over the added debris, finding a room illuminated by the night sky above. The chief maid will not like this _very much_.

Again, another one of Yukari-sama's gaps appeared above me yet again. The eyes spooked me, but my attention was quickly drawn to what was going out of the gap.

"What in the freaking world...?"

The giant thing that was dropped off landed on the ground, causing the ground to shake. I fell on my rear as I lost my balance. Then, the thing that landed turned what seemed to be its head towards me, looking at me with glowing green eyes. Then, its eyes flashed, and it bent its head down towards me, opening up to show an illuminated cockpit.

"I have a good feeling about this..."

Excitedly, I jumped up to the cockpit and sat down. The cockpit then closed, shrouding me in darkness, but the screens that seemed to be surrounding me lit up.

PILOT IDENTIFIED: AKAI

The text on-screen then switched.

-KAPPA GEAR MORIYA-

NOW ONLINE

The text vanished, and then the screens changed to show the environment around me.

*beepbeep*beepbeep*

I put a finger to my ear again in response to Yukari-sama's call.

[So, how do you like the Kappa Gear MORIYA, Akai-kun? It has the head of a kappa, the body of a frog, and onbashira cannons. It's amphibious, and it can move really quick and jump really high. The onbashira cannons fire lasers, and they can be detached and controlled remotely, too.]

[Awesome! Who made this thing?]

[Nitori Kawashiro, a kappa, built it, but the Moriya Shrine's shrine maiden, Sanae Kochiya, designed it. The gods of Moriya Shrine also enchanted this machine, making the armor amphibious and tough.]

[Wow! Do those gods want anything in exchange, though?]

[Not really. Just go use it and accomplish your mission.]

[Alright. Here I go!]

I then pulled out my finger from my ear, and then I put my hands on the movement controls and started looking around.

"You! Are you the one who has been destroying this mansion?"

And then the pretty, white-haired, and well-endowed Sakuya Izayoi shows up. No worries for me, though. I feel confident that I can beat this lady, even if she can stop time.

I pressed buttons here and there, which I assumed to be the triggers for the onbashira lasers. The machine then lifted its arms, pointing the guns at the mansion. Knives were bouncing off of the machine, and I could see the chief maid showing up here and there, trying to take the machine down.

Still, the chief maid wasn't able to stop the Kappa Gear, as the onbashira cannons fired its lasers at the whole mansion, totally bringing it down.

"NO! MILADY!"

The chief maid then screamed upon witnessing the destruction of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and so she disappeared. Then, she appeared again, now with a little girl in a pink dress and with black wings. Also along with them was a girl in a purple nightgown who was holding a book. The little girl with black wings must be Remilia Scarlet.

"Well, well, well," the head of the mansion said, swelling with charisma, "It seems that this game has gone too far. We'll have to destroy you already. Sakuya! Patchouli! Give him punishment for destroying the mansion, and for hurting my sister!"

""Yes, Milady!""

Sakuya started teleporting and throwing knives, Patchouli started raining multiple elements at me, and Remilia materialized a spear in her hands. Seeing the potential danger three relentlessly attacking opponents held, I made the Kappa Gear jump over the mansion and release all its onbashiras to aim at the mansion and at the three attackers. The onbashiras positioned themselves in a way that would give them little room for escape while making sure they don't accidentally hit any fellow onbashiras.

"""AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"""

Being trapped in a crossfire of lasers, all three attackers were knocked down, and the mansion crumbled down to the ground along with the defeated attackers.

As Remilia Scarlet was defeated, the scarlet mist outside vanished. The full moon was then made less visible by the sunlight that started to appear.

"Mission accomplished," I said to myself, smiling.

I then put a finger to my ear again.

[Good job, Akai-kun.]

[Thanks, Yukari-sama. Now, what should I do next?]

[Head to Hakurei Shrine. It's on the highest point of Gensokyo, so you'll be able to see it easily.]

[Alright, Yukari-sama, see you the-]

*FZZZTTT*

The screens around me suddenly went static, causing me to stop talking with Yukari-sama.

"What the...what's going on?"

Panicking, I quickly pressed a button that was meant to open up the cockpit. Upon opening it, I saw two girls in front of me. Both of them were looking at me with hostility.

"Who are you?" I shouted at them.

"We should be the ones asking that," one girl in red and white shrine maiden clothes said. She was floating in the air with two red and white orbs around her and a gohei in her hands.

"The Moriya Shrine is at it again, huh?" the other girl, who wore a frilly black and white dress, a black hat, said. She was sitting on a broom, like a witch, and she held a wooden octagonal thing in her hand, pointing it at me.

"Moriya Shrine? What does Moriya Shrine have to do with this?" I asked, wondering what the ones who helped make this machine had to do with these two girls.

"They've been causing trouble in this place lately," the red-white said. "Aside from all the youkai that cause incidents, they also add up to the trouble here at times."

"Kanako must be desperate to gather some faith," the black-white said. "Looks like she decided to use the hostile takeover method, huh?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about! I was just here to take down Remilia Scarlet!"

"Hm, so that vampire has been at it again, huh?" the red-white said, still hostile. "Well, I would like to thank you for helping solve an incident, but only if you weren't using such a threatening-looking machine."

"Hey, even stuff like this can be used for good, you know!"

"Really?" the black-white questioned. "Can it fight fairly in danmaku battles? Can it even fire danmaku, or use Spell Cards?"

Those questions were way off from my expectations, but I still couldn't answer the black-white's questions.

"Marisa, let's beat this guy and his machine up already," the red-white said to her companion.

"Alright, Reimu. Then we'll give the guys at Moriya Shrine a beating, too!" the black-white replied.

"Damn it!"

Because I was now in danger of being shot by them, I quickly looked for the emergency eject button. I found it, but it was covered by glass.

"Damn it, get out of the way, glass!"

I quickly smashed through the glass hard, enduring the pain caused by small glass shards wounding me, along with the pain caused by the impact of my hand on the button.

As the bullets were about to reach the inside of the Kappa Gear's head, it launched up into the sky, flying to the direction behind me. The flight was fast, and the pressure made me shut my eyes and put my head down. The wind stopped blowing at my face for a moment, and then the head began to drop, increasing speed again.

*CRASH*

Eventually, the head crash-landed.

I quickly lost consciousness after that.


	5. Too Bad, It Was Just An Ending!

Three groups of people were angrily marching up the mountain path that led to the Hakurei Shrine.

The group in front consisted of the residents of Moriya Shrine: Sanae Kochiya, the shrine maiden; and the two gods, Kanako Yasaka and Suwako Moriya. The group in the middle consisted only of one kappa, Nitori Kawashiro. The group in the back consisted of three defeated members of the now-destroyed Scarlet Devil Mansion: Patchouli Knowledge, the library girl; Sakuya Izayoi, the chief maid; and Remilia Scarlet, the head of the mansion.

All of them had marks of damage on their clothes and bodies, and all of them wore expressions of rage on their faces. They continued to march up the mountain silently, fueled by rage as they thought of only one thing:

"We will kill you, Yukari Yakumo."

* * *

"Well done, Reimu and Marisa," Yukari said with a happy smile.

As for the red-white shrine maiden and the black-white magician, both of them had expressions of suspicion on their faces.

"Yukari, tell me, did they really start an incident?" Reimu asked.

"Yeah, all of them were denying it," Marisa followed. "They seemed to be telling the truth, too."

"Oh really? Heeheehee...Maybe they were," Yukari replied with a sly smile.

"Damn it, Yukari," Reimu answered with annoyance. "What is wrong with you, today?"

"Oh, I was just bored, so I decided to start a mess," Yukari honestly answered with a smile of a troll. "It turned out to be more exciting than I expected!"

"You know what, Reimu," Marisa said, taking out her hakkero, "Let's beat the crap out of this woman already. She's pissing me off!"

"You have a lot of explaining to do to the Moriya Shrine, to the kappas, and to the Scarlet Devil Mansion," Reimu said, taking out her gohei and her Yin-Yang Orbs.

Yukari kept on smiling even with the hostility she was receiving. A few moments later, she looked beyond Reimu and Marisa, and said with a grin:

"Look who we have here."

The three groups of angry people marched into the Hakurei Shrine, auras of rage emanating from them.

"How dare you trick Kanako-sama and Suwako-sama...and me..." Sanae said, holding her gohei. "I thought it was to be made for saving others...but...it was only made for destruction...I now regret leaving the construction to you..."

"I shouldn't have went along with your dirty scheme, you hag," Kanako said, onbashiras now behind her. "I admit, I was amazed by the sheer mightiness of that machine and Sanae's design for it, but I should have known that leaving the construction to you wouldn't be a good idea. Also, you do _not_ lie to our Sanae."

"I knew that gigantic machine wouldn't do any good, especially when you asked to work on it, Yukari Yakumo," Suwako said with a dark smile. "'Guardian Machine,' you say? Hah, more like a 'Destroyer of Worlds,' especially when you worked on it. You'll pay for tricking our Sanae, as well."

"You liar..." Nitori said, pointing a pistol at Yukari. "The design you gave me was not the design that I was supposed to use. It was supposed to be used as a defensive machine, not a weapon of mass destruction! You liar...I didn't notice it...You made me go in a hurry..."

"My library..." Patchouli said like she was going crazy, holding an open book up. "You destroyed my precious library..."

"You owe us the reconstruction of the mansion, Yukari Yakumo," Sakuya said, holding knives in both hands. "I was expecting more fair fights from your new shikigami."

"And you owe us Meiling and Flandre," Remilia said, her spear of energy now in her hand. "And your new shikigami owes us fair fights! You dirty cheater!"

"DIE, YUKARI YAKUMO!" they all shouted in unison.

"Oh, looks like I need to go home, now," Yukari said with a smirk, turning around and opening a gap. "Reimu, Marisa, please entertain these guests, okay?"

"Wha-Yukari!" Reimu shouted, but it was too late. Yukari had already left, leaving Reimu and Marisa to deal with the angry mob.

"If we can't vent out our anger on Yukari Yakumo right now," Kanako said, "Then we'll just vent our anger on these two!"

"Yeah! We'll kill them because they helped Yukari!" Remilia shouted with an expression of mad rage.

"Tch...Can't you just calm down?" Reimu shouted in distress.

"Yeah! Can't we talk this over tea?" Marisa shouted as she tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"..."

The only responses they received was the slow forward marching of the mob, and the auras of rage that blazed even stronger. The two cornered scapegoats took a step back, and then in anger, they screamed towards the sky.

"DAMN IT, YUKARI!"

* * *

The Hakurei Shrine ended up destroyed yet again after the fierce battle that ensued.

In the end, they all decided to have a feast where all they did was drink sake, to forget the horrid memories of that day. The drinking feast then turned into a counseling session, with Suika Ibuki as the (drunk) counselor, listening to the hapless drunks with damaged clothes.

Eventually, they all fell asleep, looking like dead corpses in a meteor crash site.


	6. The End? No Way! Not Yet!

*beepbeep**beepbeep*

[Lady Yukari, why should I even put a finger to my ear? We can still talk telepathically even without doing that.]

[But it's so cool, Ran. Come on, I won't keep talking to you if you don't put a finger to your ear.]

[Alright, alright. There.]

[Yay!]

[*sigh* Does Chen have to listen to our conversation, too?]

[Of course! "The more, the merrier," they say!]

[*sigh* Chen, put a finger to your ear.]

[Okay, Ran-sama!]

[Now, what trouble did you get into now, Lady Yukari?]

[Trouble? Oh, you mean what I did recently? It was fun!]

[Lady Yukari, you sure are awake right now. You're probably going to start another incident again, huh?]

[Yeah! I hear Akai-kun here has friends, so I'll go after them next!]

[Lady Yukari, I'm happy that your happy with your...new shikigami, but I hope you don't forget me.]

[Aww, are you jealous, Ran? Don't worry, they won't be getting as much power as you do. After all, they will be named after the color red, the lowest color in the electromagnetic spectrum.]

[But with their intelligence, they could probably beat Chen.]

[Ran, you're forgetting that they don't know the danmaku duel rules here in Gensokyo. I'm just giving them some powers and equipment, and then I start up a fake incident for them to be more easily convinced to do as I say. Also, they'll never doubt me if their memories are modified, you know?]

[Also...about those people that you just dragged into your "fun time..." I don't know if they would forgive you the next time they see you.]

[Don't worry, Ran. I saw them get so drunk from sake after that rough riot that they made. They'll probably forget what happened. Well, I won't be involving them next time, that's for sure.]

[So, what are you going to do now, Lady Yukari?]

[Oh...I'll go get one of his friends later...after I take a short nap. Oh, and by the way, how is Akai-kun doing?]

[Oh, you mean your new shikigami? I had Chen put him in that preservation machine that you asked Nitori Kawashiro to make. I went to get him from the Kappa Gear's head as you asked me to.]

[Good. He won't be going out on a mission for a long while, since I already fulfilled his dream of being a Metal Gear protagonist...or maybe I didn't? Well, maybe I just gave him a mission filled with Metal Gear references. I guess I'll do the same to each of his friends next time, but with their respective favorite game, of course.]

[Okay...]

[Yukari-sama, Ran-sama, how did you meet that boy?]

[Oh, you mean Akai-kun, Chen? Well, you two did ask about that back then, so I'll tell you now. I was just wandering around the Outside World again, when I overheard Akai-kun and his three friends hanging around at a park, talking about their favorite games. Each of them wanted to be like the protagonist of their respective favorite game, and so an idea came into my mind: How about I fulfill their wishes, while I entertain myself as well? I thought it was a really good idea, so I decided to talk to Akai-kun when they all split up and went home. I blocked his way, gave him an offer, and then he excitedly accepted after he told me all about the Metal Gear series. Then, I whacked him hard with my umbrella, and then turned him into my shikigami. I didn't give him any significant power boosts, though, since I was going to ask Nitori Kawashiro to make me Akai-kun's equipment, and also those four preservation machines and that Kappa Gear. We already had the telepathic link, though, because it's natural, but I decided to make a modification by adding that Codec ringtone for incoming calls. Well, today was fun, but I still want more. Anyway, I'm tired. I think I've talked long enough now. Is there anything else you two want to ask me?]

[Lady Yukari, can we take off our fingers now?]

[Yeah, sure.]

[Well, that was easy...]

[Anyway, I'll be off to take a nap now.]

[Sleep well, Yukari-sama.]

[Ran-sama, are we going to have more visitors from the Outside World here?]

[Yes, Chen. We will be busy with moving his friends again, okay?]

[Yes, Ran-sama.]

[That Akai boy is now in a cryogenic sleep. He looks really pitiful, considering what he wanted and what had happened to him.]

[Ran-sama, what's "cryogenic sleep?"]

[Oh, basically, it is a state where a person is frozen so that their body will not rot away.]

[Ohhh...Yukari-sama and Ran-sama know a lot of complicated words, huh?]

[Yes. Still, your intellect isn't enough to comprehend the Outside World, Chen.]

[Huh? What do you mean?]

[*sigh* Chen, did you understand what Lady Yukari told us when she met that Akai boy?]

[Uhmm...no.]

[Well, you shouldn't think of that too much if you can't understand it easily. Anyway, can you help me out in preparing dinner, Chen?]

[Yes, Ran-sama! Let's make dinner!]

[Thank you, Chen. Well, back to work, like we always do.]


End file.
